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On Thursday, February 8, 2001 I saw 2 lines for the first time ...

I was 99.9% sure I could never get pregnant ... I had been stupid so many times and had unprotected sex ... and when i say "so many times" my ex and i spent 3 years of having sex without birth control ... David and I spent a month and a half and I got pregnant ...

i went back and forth trying to decide what i wanted to do ... but i knew deep down inside ... i don't want a baby now ...

so on February 24, 2001 at 7 AM ... that is what is going to happen ... i will become unpregnant ...

For the last 3 years I have kept a journal religiously ... I finally meet a guy ... I have something to write about ... and I stop ... why do I do that ... aren't these the things I want to remember ... why did I write so much when my life was boring ...

so today I start again ... may not be the best time ... life is freaky weird right now ... but I need this ... I need to write ... i need to express myself ... i need to get all this out ...